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[personal profile] eisht
I've been terrible at keeping in touch with LJ lately.

The good news is that it means I finished my Big Bang (well the first draft) and got it in on time. So I'm feeling particularly smug about that, especially since it is my first time and it is just shy of 100K. It doesn't escape my attention that this also means there will be lots of yummy fic coming our way in just over a month.

I will be catching up with some beta-ing and I actually have time to do some reading too. 

Which is how I get to cookies. I figure I've been good and I've had superb help and encouragement from sylsdarkplacemeus_venator and fedaykin_here and my flist have been very patient, so I should be sharing cookies. I've tossed some up into the air but they don't appear to be travelling on them wireless internet waves. I will have to make do with a story instead.

Since I'm all out of my own stories and I'm busy chuckling to a re-read of The Salmon of Doubt.  I am simply going to quote a bit of my all time favorite Douglas Adams on the subject. If you've never read the Salmon of Doubt and you like Douglas Adams you just have to go read it. The section considering if an artificial God exists is worth it on it's own.

Cookies by Douglas Adams - (from a speech to Embedded Systems 2001) 

This actually did happen to a real person, and the real person was me. I had gone to catch a train. This was April 1976, in Cambridge, U.K. I was a bit early for the train. I'd gotten the time of the train wrong.

I went to get myself a newspaper to do the crossword, and a cup of coffee and a packet of cookies. I went and sat at a table.

I want you to picture the scene. It's very important that you get this very clear in your mind.

Here's the table, newspaper, cup of coffee, packet of cookies. There's a guy sitting opposite me, perfectly ordinary-looking guy wearing a business suit, carrying a briefcase.

It didn't look like he was going to do anything weird. What he did was this: he suddenly leaned across, picked up the packet of cookies, tore it open, took one out, and ate it.

Now this, I have to say, is the sort of thing the British are very bad at dealing with. There's nothing in our background, upbringing, or education that teaches you how to deal with someone who in broad daylight has just stolen your cookies.

You know what would happen if this had been South Central Los Angeles. There would have very quickly been gunfire, helicopters coming in, CNN, you know. . . But in the end, I did what any red-blooded Englishman would do: I ignored it. And I stared at the newspaper, took a sip of coffee, tried to do a clue in the newspaper, couldn't do anything, and thought, what am I going to do?

In the end I thought, nothing for it, I'll just have to go for it, and I tried very hard not to notice the fact that the packet was already mysteriously opened. I took out a cookie for myself. I thought, that settled him. But it hadn't because a moment or two later he did it again. He took another cookie.

Having not mentioned it the first time, it was somehow even harder to raise the subject the second time around. "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice . . ." I mean, it doesn't really work.

We went through the whole packet like this. When I say the whole packet, I mean there were only about eight cookies, but it felt like a lifetime. He took one, I took one, he took one, I took one. Finally, when we got to the end, he stood up and walked away.

Well, we exchanged meaningful looks, then he walked away, and I breathed a sigh of relief and sat back. A moment or two later the train was coming in, so I tossed back the rest of my coffee, stood up, picked up the newspaper, and underneath the newspaper were my cookies.

The thing I like particularly about this story is the sensation that somewhere in England there has been wandering around for the last quarter-century a perfectly ordinary guy who's had the same exact story, only he doesn't have the punch line.

(Excerpted from "The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time" by Douglas Adams)

Date: 2012-05-03 08:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ayane42.livejournal.com
lol!! that was great!! wonderful little story!!


yay on your big bang, i cannot wait to read it!!

Date: 2012-05-07 04:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anniespinkhouse.livejournal.com
The man knew how to spin a yarn! BB won't be posted for another month. Hopefully, I'll clear the haze in my head and write something short in the meantime.

Date: 2012-05-03 08:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] legion11.livejournal.com
I like D. Adams too.

100K BIG BANG! OMG, THANK YOU!!!!

Date: 2012-05-07 04:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anniespinkhouse.livejournal.com
Oh the days of waiting for Hitchhiker's to be aired on the RADIO on a Friday night :)

Date: 2012-05-04 02:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fedaykin-here.livejournal.com
Yah!!! You are back on live journal!!! I still can't wait to read the final draft of your story!!! I feel so lucky getting a sneak peak and so excited to read the final version!!! When is your official post date? I need to blast that date all over my journal so everyone won't miss your amazing story!!! :-)

Date: 2012-05-07 04:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anniespinkhouse.livejournal.com
I never go far - there's too much great fic to read on my flist. The posting isn't for another month, art claiming was today and I'm excited about that.

Date: 2012-05-05 06:38 pm (UTC)
sylsdarkplace: Aubrey Beardsley's Salome & St John (Default)
From: [personal profile] sylsdarkplace
OMG that's hilarious. Thanks for sharing and now I have to go read The Salmon of Doubt.

We are all so relieved to get our BBs in, I think. meus_venator has been very responsibly revising, but I have yet to do so. I keep telling myself that a little distance will make it more effective. O.o

Like you it is my first time, and I'm nervous and excited -- especially for Monday when the artists claim fics -- and then of course when they get posted. I know you will get much love for yours. It's going to be awesome.

Date: 2012-05-07 04:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anniespinkhouse.livejournal.com
Freaking out a little. Meus_venator is on her own in her responsible attitude. The haze is still clearing from my head before I go back for the main edit! You know that yours are going to be blasted round so fast. They are fab.

Date: 2012-05-06 01:41 am (UTC)
meus_venator: (Charlie Walkin' on Sunshine ani)
From: [personal profile] meus_venator
Yeah BigBang submitted and yes I am diligently slaving away on edits : P
See I generate more typos than either you or or slys put together so I have to work harder.
And you do so have stories hidden up there in your noggin, they just haven't come out to play yet. But they will.

That's a hilarious story actually. It reminds me of a trip I took once on a plane. I was alone and a husband and his wife sat down next to me and before the plan even took off the husband reached over and deliberately while looking me right in the eye turned of my little air nozzle overhead. I thought about saying something, I really wanted to argue, but the truth was it was a bit intimidating I think he was twice my age at the time and a big brutish looking guy and for once on a plane I actually had enough air and was going to turn it down myself. BUT still my cowardice stuck in my craw. So I know what the cookie victim felt like.

So did I end up with a good punchline at the end of it?

Cookies... a good thing.

Date: 2012-05-07 04:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anniespinkhouse.livejournal.com
I think it's an anti-punchline. Incredibly rude of the person. I I have never said a word when my seat has been taken on a 'seated plane or train. I just sit elsewhere. I know this is exactly how I would react. I wonder how many would actually have the courage to say anything?

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