Consumed (In the Flesh, Gen)

[eisht]

.






It was bound to happen sooner or later. I fell hard for 'In the Flesh'  - but just how it is that the first voice that demands to be ficced is Gary Kendal, I have no idea. I suppose, when you are the object of everyone's hate (rightfully so), it makes a character hungry to be heard.


Title: Consumed
Rating: Gen
Description: 'He isn't consumed quickly'
A short headcanon fic for Gary Kendal.
Wordcount: ~400
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: Gary Kendal belongs to BBCthree, In the Flesh, and I gladly hand him back once I've finished playing with him. Not true.

***

He isn’t consumed quickly. No. It starts with his family; too little care, too much discipline; a slap here, a taunt there, a hungry stomach and a hungrier mind. The soul begins to hollow.

School begins and he’s fighting for air from the start, buried under the bodies of schoolchildren with fashionable shoes, the right haircut, the give-a-damn parents. Scoured-out depths fill with envy and hate and he learns to survive; fights to the top of the pile, and the bullied becomes the bully.

He sees things forever through the taint of green eyes. The straight-backed child, lauded by his parents as a hero in the army, the queer rebel who is never doubted by his sister, the sick girl who can laugh as she lives the last of her life to the full. He has no purpose, no faith no respect, and he’s empty. Life is an endless stream of menial work, and friends who bend with the wind and fall down with beer.

The Rising changes everything.

Being reborn is hard. Rotter goo sticks to his clothes and smells for weeks. There is too little sleep, too much blood and brains, but he’s suddenly alive, and he’s not afraid any more. He’s got a gun, a gang, a girlfriend and respect. He’s powerful. He’s a hero. He fills his hollow soul by burying the horror and tragedy under layers of self righteousness and bravado. He drinks in the adrenalin and accepts free beer.

When the Risen recover, it’s a different kind of tragedy. The peace is too quiet for him, his gun too still, and his power wanes. He no longer has a girlfriend by his side. It’s like school all over again; this time he’s fighting to stay on top of the undead, with their immortality and public-funded care. There are new friends and new loves for the Rotters and none for him.

It’s wrong. The undead are wrong, because if they are right then he no longer has power, purpose and respect. He’s not a hero, but a pariah.

Trauma boils to the surface in memories at the dead of night, but he cannot succumb to it. Hate bubbles where his soul long ago once slept.

Gary scrapes together his anger, his horror and his jealousy and he fights. He will not be consumed by the Risen. Yet still his soul is eaten hollow.

***

Comments

[j-r-hartley.livejournal.com]

*squints* I'm only part way through S2, does this have spoilers? :)

[anniespinkhouse.livejournal.com]

No, it's a head-cannon on Gary's past and motivations. But eee, at last someone else on LJ watching the series. YAY.

[j-r-hartley.livejournal.com]

It seems popular on Twitter from what I can tell. I hadn't heard of until I was talking to @DreadfulWitch about zombie sex (don't ask! lol) and the name came up. I've been watching it while I've been ill for the last few days so I've probably missed a lot of detail but I'm enjoying it, anyway. OK, so that said I need to check I'm thinking of the right guy...*blushes* Gary's the one who's ex Army, always with Jem, right? Has a beard and always wears camo gear? IMDb is failing me! *eyeroll*

[anniespinkhouse.livejournal.com]

That's the one!

[j-r-hartley.livejournal.com]

I thought so but I just wanted to be sure so I was in the right head when I read it!

As I said, I've missed details (such as names) but obviously I took things in because I do feel for Gary. NGL, I wouldn't have gone looking for ITF fic but since it was here and written by you, I had to read. I hadn't really thought much about the characters, though I must admit that now I *do* think, Gary's one of the ones I find most iinteresting. The scene in the Legion where he was talking to Rick about being in the army, always someone having your back...that stuck with me. He seems to *need* that purpose to his life and he found that again with the HVF. I feel sorry for him actually, but not in a pitying way, if you know what I mean?

"He will not be consumed by the Risen. Yet still his soul is eaten hollow."

Gah, now you've got me thinking about his background! That last line is amazing, you're gonna give us more, right? *puppy eyes* Just meeting my mum, BBL!